


Happy New Year, Losers

by Chash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Office, Background Relationships, F/M, Minor Finn Collins/Clarke Griffin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-26
Updated: 2015-06-26
Packaged: 2018-04-06 06:31:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,979
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4211661
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chash/pseuds/Chash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Office AU! Starring paper salesman Bellamy Blake and receptionist Clarke Griffin, with help from documentary filmmakers Jasper, Raven, and Monty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Happy New Year, Losers

**Author's Note:**

  * For [itsactuallycorrine](https://archiveofourown.org/users/itsactuallycorrine/gifts).



> Mostly based on season two of The Office, except for the parts where it didn't go like I planned and went to weird other places. Idk. Things occurred. Title from [Werner Herzog](http://carotidartistry.tumblr.com/post/106782613445/happy-new-year-losers), who, based on my reading, would probably hate this fic and also me as a person. Sorry about my life, Werner Herzog.

Bellamy gets the job at Ark right out of college, and at the time, it feels like a fucking _miracle_. His mother's just died, leaving him with custody of a temperamental, grieving sixteen-year-old, and Ark is within walking distance of their house, offering a good paycheck with bonuses if he does well with sales. He can be a charming motherfucker with the right motivation, so he figures he'll make a decent amount of money, enough to take care of Octavia, and then, someday, get back to his real life. He can survive a few years selling paper, for steady pay and his sister's future.

And he does. He can't come up with a more positive term for what he does besides _survive_ , but he mostly makes it work. His boss is an incompetent jackass, his deskmate is an uptight nightmare, his coworkers range from "charmingly weird" to "terrifyingly weird," and he has occasional fantasies about ripping his phone off his desk, throwing it out the window, and then storming out flipping the bird with both hands while rap music plays in the background, but yeah. He's surviving.

And then Octavia goes off to college, and it somehow gets worse. He still needs the money, but it's so much harder when she's not around every night, reminding him of why he goes to his fucking nightmare job, why this is his life. Why he's still living in his shitty hometown, with no prospects and not a whole lot of friends. He's still got a few people from high school, at least; Wick even moves into his spare bedroom, and makes him a Simpsons-style _Do It For Her_ plaque with pictures of Octavia, which is vaguely creepy, but also nice, and Bellamy hides it in one of his desk drawers, so he can look at it sometimes when he wants to strangle Kane. Which is a lot of the time. It sucks, and he'd quit with nothing lined up if not for his sister, and her tuition, and her future.

And then Jaha hires Clarke.

Their previous receptionist quit in a less dramatic manner than Bellamy's dreamed of doing, but it was still pretty hardcore--she won $100 in the lottery, declared this job was "beneath her," and then told Jaha to suck it and stormed out. It was the most Bellamy had ever liked her, and he's kind of sad she left before he realized she was such an awesome basket case.

He comes in the Monday after that and there's a blonde woman sitting behind the desk, looking very upright and serious, all _it is my first day and I am going to make a good first impression if it kills me_. It's cute, and he gives her an encouraging smile.

"Hi," he says, and offers his hand. "I'm Bellamy. Welcome to Ark Paper."

"Clarke," she says, shaking. She might look nervous, but her handshake is firm and confident. "Thanks." Her voice is unexpected too; lower and not as peppy as he thought. She sounds a little tired, or--weary. Not like she hasn't gotten enough sleep, but like life has beaten her down a little.

He realizes he's reading into her circumstances from literally _two words_ and reminds himself that, given his luck with coworkers, she probably collects antique doll heads or something equally eccentric and/or terrifying. He should not be coming up with an elaborate backstory for her just because she's pretty. "I'm not sure how much I know about what a receptionist actually does," he says. "But if you have any questions you think I can help with, just let me know."

"Yeah, uh," she smiles a little, wry. "So far the boss told me to call him Thelonious, or Theo, or Mr. Jaha if I'm nasty, and now I think he's asleep? So I've just been playing solitaire and feeling kind of guilty, but the phones aren't ringing and you're the first person I've seen other than Thelonious and, uh--that guy in the back?" Bellamy glances back where she pointed and sees Dante, passed out at his desk. "Does he--live here?"

"No, he's just--honestly, I have no idea." He leans against the desk, feeling a smile growing on his own face. It's been a while since talking to a coworker actually made him smile. Usually his only amusement at work is slowly filling Kane's phone headset with nickels and making sarcastic comments in his head during Jaha's motivational speeches. "So, he actually founded the company, back in the day? But there was some sort of hostile takeover and now he just does--I think PR? Mostly he just rants about the old days and falls asleep."

"Noted."

"His son is the one who did the takeover and he sometimes comes down to menace us so, uh, that's something to look forward to."

Her eyebrows lift, and she leans in, conspiratorial. "So, give it to me straight, Bellamy. On a scale from one to ten, how much of a nightmare is this place?"

He grins and leans in himself. "How bad are your nightmares? Like, teeth falling out, or nuclear apocalypse?"

"Is it weird that my dreams where my teeth fall out aren't actually nightmares? I have them, but I'm never really upset about it, it just seems normal. The worst part is actually knowing that my mom will probably be disappointed in me. She spent so long drilling good dental hygiene into me, and now I don't have teeth. I don't know how I'm going to tell her."

Bellamy lets out a surprised bark of laughter. "Wow. I really have no idea how to respond to that."

"Yeah, I think I should probably talk it through with a psychiatric professional, but I've seen our health insurance, so I think that's not happening any time soon."

"Definitely not." He worries his lip a little, reluctant, but he does have an actual job, and his pay is performance-based, so he cannot just talk to the cute new receptionist all day. "Anyway, I, uh--calls," he says, jerking his head toward his deck. "Paper doesn't sell itself."

"Yeah, of course," she says. "And this solitaire game isn't going to win itself."

He laughs. "So we've both got a lot going on."

"Oh yeah. Tons." She gives him a smile. "Nice to meet you, Bellamy."

"Yeah. You too."

Jaha introduces her to the entire office around ten, with typical Jaha grace and aplomb.

"This is Clarke Griffin, our new receptionist. As the newest staff member, she is now the baby of the office. I want you all to care for her just like you would a new baby. She's just come into the world. She doesn't know anything. Her eyes have not even opened yet."

Bellamy meets Clarke's eyes, and it's a real struggle not to break out laughing. Instead he says, "Human babies are born with their eyes open. You're thinking of kittens. Or puppies, maybe. Any small mammal."

"It's _bright_ , Bellamy," says Jaha. "The world is too bright. She can't open her eyes yet. The womb is dark."

"Oh, yeah," he says, biting back a smile. "I totally forgot how dark the womb is." Clarke shoots him a grin, and he stops fighting it, grins back. 

Suddenly, the rest of the week doesn't look so bad.

It's still boring and monotonous and terrible, of course, but Clarke's there when he walks in, and she smiles at him every morning, and his desk is positioned perfectly to make faces at her when he's on the phone, or to exchange horrified looks when Jaha comes out to make an announcement. And, yes, she's pretty, so on his way out on her first Friday, he leans on the desk and says, "So, how drunk are you planning to get tonight to deal with your first week on the job? My best friend is a bartender, he gives me the first shot free because I've complained so much. I could probably get you in on that."

She laughs. "Very tempting. But maybe rain check? My fiancé is buying me dinner. I assume he'll be willing to spring for drinks too, or I will murder him."

It's a let-down, of course. He hasn't felt the tug of attraction he felt for Clarke for anyone in a long time, not since college, before his life blew up, but it was probably already a bad idea, because they work together, so it's good. That she's engaged. Office romances never work out, right?

"Well, offer's always open. It might not shock you to learn I drink a lot."

She laughs again, and it sucks, yeah. But he's so fucking glad she got hired, still. Because at least he has _something_ to look forward to.

*

Octavia is the first one to put the word "love" into his head. She's home for spring break, and Bellamy takes an actual vacation day to hang out with her before she remembers she's nineteen and too cool for her dorky older brother. He gets a few texts from Clarke throughout the day, including _Jaha is making me set up a twitter for him, so I'm learning html so I can just do a fake one. I'm not going to be responsible for the world being able to read Jaha's 140-character thoughts_ and _Kane brought deer jerky. Do you think if I pretend to be a vegetarian, anyone will remember and call me out on it later?_

He snorts and shows his sister, and Octavia says, "So, that's the receptionist you're in love with?"

Bellamy splutters. "No! I mean, yeah, that's the receptionist, but I'm not--she's awesome, but she's engaged, so."

"So what? You can still be into her."

"Yeah, but--I'm not," he says, and then grimaces. Octavia looks supremely unimpressed, and Bellamy rubs his face. "That would be, you know. Stupid. Really stupid."

Octavia sighs and pets him on the shoulder. "And you're never really stupid."

"Never." He leans back on the couch, closing his eyes. "It's not a big deal. I just don't meet a lot of people. And she's cool. So--" He shrugs. "I'll get over it."

His phone buzzes again, and he looks down to see another message from Clarke: _Kane was looking way too comfortable with his life, so I'm catfishing him while I'm on hold with the water company. I've got your back._

_I'm glad if I'm hit by a bus tomorrow, someone will keep fucking with him._

_If you got hit by a bus tomorrow, you would definitely come back as a ghost to fuck with him. You'd make a great poltergeist._

Octavia is still watching him, so he shoves the phone into his pocket. "I'll get over it," he says again. "She's just the only person at work I don't hate. It's like, uh--I dunno. Inevitable. It's not a big deal." She doesn't respond, and he can't help bursting out, "But, god, her fiancé is a fucking _tool_."

He doesn't think it's just that he's dealing with some issues of his own regarding Clarke. She just never seems to have any _fun_ with the guy. His name is Finn, and he works in the warehouse downstairs. They started dating in high school; he's her first and only serious boyfriend, and there's nothing _wrong_ with that, really, except--well, fuck. Clarke's awesome, and she's just not as awesome when she's with Finn. Finn doesn't bring out the best in her, and he doesn't even seem _interested_ in the best in her. It's a goddamn tragedy, the way it feels like she diminishes around him. It wouldn't be so bad, he thinks, if he thought she was really _happy_.

Octavia pats him on the shoulder, consoling. "I'm sure he is, Bell."

She insists on going out with him on Saturday, even though Miller knows better than to serve her anything alcoholic. He issues a general invite to the people he doesn't want to murder at work, mostly so it won't look like he's just asking if Clarke wants to meet his sister. No one there really knows about Octavia, or, at least, not the _details_ of Octavia. He's mentioned a couple times that he has a younger sister who's in college, but whenever anyone hears about their whole fucked up history, it gets awkward. He doesn't really want that invading his work life. His work life is awkward enough already.

"Have you met Bellamy's receptionist?" Octavia asks Miller. She's displaying a lot of cleavage, which doesn't even make sense, given she knows Miller is gay and Bellamy is totally going to scare off anyone who looks at her wrong. He thinks she's just generally excited about being at a bar.

"We're not calling her that," he grumbles. "I will actually murder you, O."

"She's cool," says Miller. "She's been in a few times." He glances at Bellamy. "Her fiancé is a tool, though."

"Thanks for your support," he says, holding his beer up to Miller, toasting. "Neither of you say a fucking word to her, okay?"

"It's going to be weird if she shows up and we don't talk to her," says Octavia, because she's a total brat. He shoves her shoulder, and she beams. He's really glad she's home, even if it's only for a couple weeks. He's going to miss her when she leaves again.

"Just be cool."

"I am so much cooler than you. Won't be an issue."

Clarke shows up half an hour later, without her fiancé. She spots them at the bar and slides in next to Octavia. "You must be Bellamy's sister," she says, delighted. "Please tell me you brought baby pictures or something. I picture Bellamy as a very fat baby who fell over a lot."

"You realize she's younger than I am, right?" Bellamy asks, but he can't quite keep the smile off his face. "Why would she be an expert on what I looked like as a baby?"

"So, he was a _really_ fat baby," Clarke tells Octavia, serious, and Octavia laughs.

"I like you," she declares. "You can buy me my next Coke."

"What an honor," says Clarke, but she looks charmed, and Bellamy tries to ignore the warmth in his stomach at seeing the two of them laughing together, chatting and getting to know each other. It makes him want things he's never going to get, and he goes to play darts with Jackson from HR to try to keep his feelings in check.

"I can see why you like her so much," Octavia tells him, soft, on their way home. "She's really cool."

"Yeah, she's great," he agrees. "I'll get over it," he adds. "It's just a crush."

Octavia doesn't say anything, but he can tell she doesn't really believe it.

He doesn't either.

*

The documentary crew shows up in the fall of Octavia's junior year; Clarke gets the call and gestures Bellamy over as soon she transfers it to Jaha.

"Some grad students want to make a documentary. About our office."

"That's going to be a really fucking boring documentary," he says, stealing one of her jellybeans. "Why would you do that?"

"I don't know. They gave me like half a sales pitch before I told them I was just the receptionist and had no actual power. So all I got was something about capturing the realities of the American dream, and capitalism, and then the kid finally took a breath and I got him transferred."

"You know there's no way Jaha will say no to this."

"I know," says Clarke. "He'll demand his own trailer and come in for the first day of filming dressed like someone from _Entourage_."

"It's uncanny how well you know him."

"More things to discuss with future psychiatric professionals."

Jaha comes out of his office half an hour later and announces, "We are going to be _stars_ , people!"

Bellamy glances at Clarke; she's already looking at him, and they both roll their eyes at the same time.

*

"Okay!"

The kid looks like he's about twelve, and he's wearing goggles. Bellamy kind of wonders if they're being punked. It's plausible Jaha would do that. Or wouldn't realize it was being done, at least.

"So, I'm Jasper, this is Monty and Raven. We're going to be here filming you for the foreseeable future. Did everyone get waivers?" There's sort of a general murmuring of assent, and Jasper beams. "Great! This is going to be for the entire academic year, so we'll be wrapping up at some point in the spring, and then there's editing and all that stuff before it's done. Any questions?"

"When is the red carpet?" asks Jaha. "Will you be providing limos, or do we need to get our own?"

"Uh, we will not have premiere information until it's done," says Jasper, looking somewhat unsettled. "But this is just, like, our thesis project, so, you know."

"We'll have to provide our own limos," says Jaha, nodding sagely.

Bellamy glances at Clarke, and for the first time she's not looking back; she's staring up at the three filmmakers, rigid, discomfort all over her face. He's never seen her looking like that. It's fucking awful.

The woman--Raven, he thinks--walks them through the technology they'll be using, microphones she built herself and wall-mounted cameras, as well as hand-held ones that each of the three of them will be carrying. None of them really explain why they think this is something the world needs, but he's too busy worrying about Clarke to ask.

"We'll start on Monday, so get pumped!" Jasper concludes, but after they leave there's still a half-hour motivational speech from Jaha about how this is their big break to get through before they're dismissed.

He catches Clarke's arm as she tries to get up. "Hey, what is it?"

She looks at him, biting her lip, like she's making up her mind. "Drinks after work?" she offers.

"Yeah, of course."

They walk over to Dropship; it's still warm and summery out, but Clarke hugs her arms like she's freezing. Bellamy doesn't say anything, waits for her to start the conversation. They're halfway there when she says, "How much did I tell you about me and Finn?"

"Uh, I dunno," says Bellamy, shifting a little. Hearing about Finn is one of those things he both likes and hates; he wants to know more about her but still pretend that her fiancé doesn't exist. "High school sweethearts, engaged right after graduation, fairytale bullshit?"

She smiles a little, wry. "Sounds about right, yeah." She kicks at a pebble. "He transferred to my school sophomore year, started hitting on me pretty quickly. I thought he was just joking around." She flashes him a smile. "I was kind of quiet and artsy, no one had ever actually hit on me before."

It seems insane to Bellamy, but he guesses he didn't really have great taste in girls in high school. Still, she was probably really cute. "So what changed your mind?"

"He wore me down, eventually. Convinced me he really meant it. We'd been going out for a couple weeks and he asked me to the winter formal, and then, uh--his girlfriend showed up there too."

" _What_."

"The girl he'd been dating at his old school came down to surprise him. Apparently they never really broke up. He thought they did, it was--" She waves her hand. "This huge, awful mess. But--I still liked him, you know?" Bellamy doesn't respond, but Clarke doesn't seem to realize his silence means, _No, what the hell_. "He apologized and we got to be friends again and we finally got back together junior year. But it was--it was a lot."

"Right."

"Anyway, Raven was his other girlfriend."

She says it so casually that it takes him a minute to figure out what she's talking about.

"Raven?" he asks. "The girl helping with the documentary?"

"Yup."

"Isn't that a conflict of interests or something?"

She snorts. "I don't think that's a thing when it's a grad-school project. Besides, it's been like, what, nine years? I'm over it. It just took me by surprise."

"Does she know you guys are engaged?"

"I think so. They're still friends."

"How does a guy cheat on two girls and end up engaged to one and friends with the other?" he asks, before he can help himself.

But Clarke just laughs. "I have asked myself that, occasionally."

It feels like dangerous territory, but he's a goddamn masochist. "You ask yourself why you're engaged to your fiancé?"

"Not in those exact words," she says, apparently not taking any offense. "Just--half my friends think I made too big a deal of it and the other half thought I never should have taken him back. But honestly, I haven't thought about it in years. He apologized and I forgave him."

"Huh." He holds the door open for her at Dropship and tells Miller, "She needs a drink."

"I do," Clarke agrees, doing her best to look pathetic.

Miller snorts. "Since Bellamy's so concerned, you can have his free shot."

"Wow, you're a really good friend, Bellamy."

"I'm a giver," Bellamy agrees, and orders a beer.

It hasn't even been half an hour when the three documentarians show up; Bellamy and Clarke exchange a look, and Clarke is the one who waves then over.

Raven takes the seat next to her and says, "Long time no see."

"Yeah, it was kind of a shock." She smiles. "But I'm glad you're doing well. This is Bellamy, my coworker."

"Nice to see you guys again," he says. "Can you sit with us, or will this threaten your journalistic integrity? Aren't you supposed to be impartial and uninvolved?"

"Whatever," says Monty. "We're studying film, not ethics."

"Good attitude," says Bellamy, and flags Miller down. "I think we need beers. This is Raven, Monty, and Jasper. They're making a documentary about us."

"Slow news week?" asks Miller, dry.

"Yeah, seriously, what the hell?" says Bellamy. "This is going to be the most boring documentary of all time."

"We're finding the magic in the mundane," says Jasper.

"That is some bullshit," says Clarke, and Raven snorts. The two women exchange a smile, and Bellamy feels weirdly proud of Clarke. Based on the story, it sounds like Finn was the only one who did anything wrong, but it's probably easier to be upset at the person she's not engaged to. Still, based on the twenty minutes he's known her, Raven seems way cooler.

He gets darts going, and the two women bow out, as he sort of figured they would. He gets to know Monty and Jasper, who seem pretty cool, and not nearly as weird as he expected, based on their choice of film subjects. Or, well, not weird in the ways he assumed they'd be. They're clearly kind of geeks, and Monty at some point gets drunk and starts quoting Werner Herzog, but that's the kind of weird Bellamy approves of.

"So, this is going to be a disaster, right?" he asks Clarke and Raven. They're still sober, and helping him get Monty and Jasper into a cab.

"Fucking trainwreck," Raven agrees. "See you on Monday."

*

The thing is, their office _is_ weird. Or maybe all offices are this weird and he doesn't realize it, but they're giving the documentarians a lot of material for _something_. He forgets because about ninety percent of the time it's just boring, but the other ten percent really is something else. Even normal events, like getting a new temp, require hours of preparation and a lot of bizarre rituals.

"Yeah, I'm not going to keep it," he overhears said new temp, Murphy, saying to Monty. They're doing a one-on-one, so he can't see what he's talking about, and it's pretty hard to guess. Jaha bought him a bunch of shit that Bellamy is pretty sure was intended for a bar mitzvah, because it all says, "Today, You Are a Man," and he would probably honestly burn it all, if it was him.

Other things are, he's pretty sure, genuinely unique and possibly even interesting, from an anthropological viewpoint.

"So, tell me about the Arkies," Raven prompts. 

"Great question, thank you," Bellamy says, stroking his chin thoughtfully. Whenever he does talking heads, he likes to pretend he's on a History Channel documentary about the influence of extraterrestrials on human development. "The Arkies replace raises and actual employee appreciation at other companies." He leans in, and Raven smirks. "Basically, we go to a Chili's, Jaha embarrasses himself doing weird musical numbers, and we get what I'm pretty sure are children's soccer trophies celebrating things about ourselves we hate."

Clarke has been with the company for two years and has gotten "Longest Engagement" both years. Finn always laughs; she never has.

"So yeah," he says, making a face at the camera. "Get pumped for that."

Clarke has been tasked with reviewing footage of previous years so she can tell Jaha what jokes not to recycle; Bellamy takes a lot of breaks from his actual job to sit with her, mostly so she won't kill herself or anyone else. And it's funny, when it's not horrifying.

"Your first ever Arkie was _Slickest Hair_?" Clarke asks, when he settles in next to her after he finishes a call. Jasper is filming from the corner, fairly unobtrusive. It's weird how quickly they became part of the landscape. "Was that a joke? The jokes usually aren't that creative."

"Oh, no," says Bellamy. "I used way too much hair gel for like a year, I thought it would make me look professional. See?" He gestures to the screen, where he's examining the award with a frown.

"Oh wow. That's, um--" She laughs. "Sorry, just--wow."

"I know, it looks like someone spilled oil on my head."

"Just a little." She ruffles his hair, absent. "This is a lot better."

He leans into the touch automatically, but Jasper's camera makes a sound, whirring like he's zooming in, and it brings Bellamy back to reality. It's been easy to forget about the cameras--he was incredibly self-conscious for about a week, and then it was just another part of his life, too familiar to bother worrying about.

But letting Clarke pet him is probably going a little far.

"I hope you're getting these videos," he tells Jasper, straightening up. "There's a lot of quality material here.

"Oh yeah," says Jasper, flashing him a grin. "This stuff is gold."

If the tapes are gold, the live Arkies are triple platinum. Clarke gets _wasted_ stealing other people's drinks (for Finn-related reasons, Bellamy can't help thinking; he left when he found out there was no group tab this year, and Clarke didn't go with him) and gets really fucking into the proceedings, egging Jaha on for musical numbers and demanding acceptance speeches from everyone; Bellamy never needs much encouraging to make a rousing speech, so the two of them end up trying to mobilize the Chili's to--he's not actually even sure. Clarke had way too much control of the speech's content for it to have a coherent thesis. But the rest of the restaurant still seems pretty inspired.

He also got Jaha to change her award, not that he's telling anyone about that. But Monty gives him a discreet thumbs up when she gets "Office Princess" instead of "Longest Engagement," so he's pretty sure the documentary knows.

"I'm a karate princess," she says, leaning heavily on his side as they wait for Anya to pull her car around. She holds the award in front of his face, unsteady, and he smiles. She has a lifetime ban from the entire Chili's restaurant chain and is absolutely the coolest person he knows.

"You are the ultimate karate princess," he agrees, and helps her into shotgun. "Get some sleep."

He only realizes Monty was filming him as he watched her drive away when he turns and sees the camera.

He holds up his own award ("Cam Ho," because he likes making faces at the camera, but "whore" would have been unprofessional, according to Jaha) and shoots Monty a wry smile. "Best Arkies ever."

Monty just gives him another thumbs up.

*

Wick doesn't believe Bellamy about pretty much his entire life, so Bellamy drags him to Dropship one Wednesday and introduces him to the documentary crew. The three of them are regulars who come only at odd times because, per Raven, Monty has a thing for Miller, but they find socializing with their film subjects kind of weird.

"Not that we don't like you," she adds. Wick is hanging on her every word, which Bellamy gets, honestly. She's wearing a faded grey tank top with her hair in a messy ponytail and looks like a supermodel on her day off. "By which I mean you, specifically. You and Clarke are our favorites."

"And given your history with Clarke, that's saying something about our coworkers," Bellamy says, dry.

"Dude, I love Clarke. My biggest regret about my history with Clarke is that she didn't dump him too."

Bellamy chokes on his beer; he hopes it's subtle. "Why?"

"Solidarity, for one. And, I dunno. They're cute and all, but they're in one of those inertia relationships, you know?"

He glances over at Wick; inertia is not his forte.

"It's easier to keep doing what they're doing than it is to do something else. Objects in mediocre relationships tend to stay in mediocre relationships."

"Exactly," says Raven, holding up her gin and tonic to clink against Wick's beer. "Their relationship never struck me as forever love." She looks bitter for a minute, pain twisting up her face. "I thought ours was for a while, but--by the end of junior year I knew I was better off. I was kind of bummed for her when I saw they got engaged on Facebook before she left for college. Like, he was trying to lock her down or something."

Bellamy knows the story from Finn, who tells it with pride, apparently not aware of Clarke's clear discomfort that they've been engaged for seven years, with no end in sight. He proposed the day before she left to go to school, all candlelight and romance, and it's always rubbed him the wrong way. He's glad Raven has the same read on it he does.

"Well, he did," Bellamy says, taking a swig of beer. "So good for him."

"So far, anyway," she agrees, with an odd look Bellamy doesn't really want to think about.

"So," Wick says, mercifully interrupting. "Tell me. Kane--he's not real, right? Bellamy is making that shit up."

"I don't know what he's been telling you, but I can confirm that he has a coworker named Marcus Kane and he offered me homegrown beet chips and claimed they would increase my fertility and womb capacity."

"Holy shit," says Wick. "Seriously, we are having that party for your work friends. Like, I have got to meet these people." He glances at Raven, and Bellamy automatically rolls his eyes at Monty and Jasper, even without the cameras. He might have a problem. "You guys could come too, right?" he asks her.

"If it's a work party, sure. Witness the office staff in the wild."

"Awesome," says Wick. "We're going to make this happen."

"You are pathetic," Bellamy tells Wick, on their way home.

"Dude, I saw you lapping up all her shit-talking about your girlfriend's fiancé. You don't want to start the pathetic game."

"Shut up," he says, without heat. "Takes one to know one."

"Swish," says Wick, miming throwing a basketball. "Anyway, invite all your coworkers over so I can ask the hot documentary lady about all her homemade technology."

"Yeah, yeah," he says. "Just remember, you asked for this."

*

Kane brings them a "good fortune tree," which is apparently a Kane family tradition; he refuses to give it to Bellamy, because he doesn't wish him good fortune, but he tells Wick he has nothing specifically against him at this time.

"Nice to meet you too," says Wick, grinning like he's winning at life. He guesses Kane is probably fun in limited doses.

Clarke shows up with a six-pack of beer, and without her fiancé.

"You know, Kane brought us a _tree_ ," he tells her. "You're really going to have to up your game here, Griffin."

"You know, I was going to bring a tree, but then I switched to beer at the last minute," she says, snapping her fingers in disappointment.

"Probably for the best," he says gravely. "You can't bring the same gift as someone else to a party. It's like wearing the same dress."

"Which Kane and I were also in danger of doing." She looks around, and Bellamy feels his breath catch, suddenly nervous. She's never been in his house before, and he feels like she's judging him as much as it, even though it's still half full of his mother's things. He's lived here his whole life; this place is a part of him.

"It's nice," she says, and he relaxes. "Do I get a tour?"

"Sure, let me just round up the rest of the gang."

He grabs a few other people who'd wanted to see the house and gives them a quick tour of the upstairs, trying not to say anything that will lead to awkward questions like, _Why did you get such a big place?_ and _Why does half your stuff look like a fifty-year-old woman bought it?_ No one asks either, so he figures he probably did okay. The party's in full swing when they get back downstairs, Wick manning the grill and talking to Raven about something that is interesting enough to distract her from her camera, a group of people shooting the shit in the living room. Miller and Murphy have gotten some kind of sport going on in the backyard--it looks like touch football, but then he sees Anya throw a frisbee, so who knows? It actually seems like it might be _fun_.

He turns to ask Clarke if she wants to check it out, but finds he lost her at some point during the tour. He ducks back upstairs, with Jasper following him, of course.

"You know the action's down here, right?" he asks. "I'm just making sure Clarke didn't get lost."

"Monty's got it covered." Apparently he also noticed Raven is currently useless. "I'm following other leads."

"You're a weird guy," Bellamy tells him. 

Clarke is in the upstairs hallway, looking at the picture of him with Octavia on his shoulders from a trip they took to the beach when he was fifteen. "You know this is a restricted area, right?" he asks her, leaning against the wall.

"It's cool, I'm on the guest list." She straightens up and smiles. "I was trying to find fat baby pictures, but--there aren't really many pictures of you. Just Octavia."

"No, my mom didn't really do pictures," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "I figured Octavia should have some even if I didn't."

She worries her lip. "This is your house," she says, like she's embarrassed about it.

"Yup. That's why I'm having a party here."

"No, I meant--this is where you grew up. I figured Octavia was just visiting you over break, but you said that was her room, and--" She taps the picture frame. "This is your house."

"Oh," he says. She would be the one to notice. "Yeah."

"When did your mom die?"

He glances at Jasper, who's still filming, of course. "Uh."

Clarke apparently hadn't noticed him, and she huffs. "Seriously? You guys are weirdos. Sorry, I'm calling private friend time." She grabs Bellamy's arm and pulls him into his room. It's surreal, in the way that it always is when something he's thought about a lot actually _happens_. Not that this was how he pictured her dragging him toward his bed. "Later, Jasper."

She closes the door and turns off her microphone; Bellamy does the same. It's the first time he's talked to her off camera in months, almost since the documentary started. It's the most private they've ever been.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have pried."

"No, it's fine," he says, rubbing the back of his neck. "She died when I was twenty-two."

Clarke nods. "And you're six years older than your sister."

"Yeah."

"So you--"

"I officially had custody for her for two years. And I'm helping her out with college and stuff."

"I had no idea."

"People act kind of weird when they find out," he says, shrugging. "I don't talk about it a lot."

"Yeah, I'm totally going to be weird now." She grins. "But just about your room! I want to look at all your stuff and tease you about it. No wonder it still looks like a teenager lives here," she adds, leaning forward to inspect his comic-book collection.

"Shut up," he says, but he can't help smiling. "It was too weird to move to my mom's room, so I rented it to Wick."

"How is that not weirder than you moving in?"

He shrugs and flops down in his desk chair. Clarke sits on his bed, legs crossed, casual, like she's not _in his room_ , _on his fucking bed_. "As we've discussed, our health insurance isn't good enough for me to see a therapist, so I have no idea."

She laughs and flops back. "This is actually a pretty good party."

"Yeah, I can tell you're really enjoying yourself." He spins his chair around, looking at the ceiling. "Of course, Wick just threw the party because he wants to flirt with Raven, so I don't think he'll mind if you don't take advantage of the karaoke machine he rented."

"Your roommate is flirting with Raven?"

"Yeah, we ran into them at the bar the other day. Monty is trying to flirt with Miller, so I should probably just lean into it and hook up with Jasper so we can have a triple-wedding."

"Solid plan."

"Yeah, I'm excited." He glances at her; her eyes are closed, and she looks exhausted. "How come, uh--Finn couldn't make it?"

"I think he feels weird hanging out when Raven's around," she says. "And he's never really bonded with any of you guys, so--" She shrugs. "He didn't want to come, I did. Here we are."

"Here we are," he agrees. He finds the box he keeps pictures in, roots through it until he finds the one baby picture he has of himself, the one Octavia found. "Here."

"Huh?" She sits up, and then grins and snatches the picture. "Oh my god, fat baby Bellamy! This is _awesome_."

"I wasn't _that_ fat," he grumbles, smiling.

"You're adorable," she declares, and hands the photo back. "Now, you said something about a karaoke machine," she says, waggling her eyebrows, and he laughs and drags himself out of the chair. He'd much rather hang out with Clarke all night, but he's the host. It would probably be weird.

Jasper's still in the hallway, sitting against the wall.

"You seriously just sat outside my door?" Bellamy asks. "You know, if you just turned off the camera, we would have let you in."

"Really? You should have told me. I've never had a threesome before."

"And now you never will," says Clarke, patting him on the shoulder. "Come on, Jas, we can duet something from a musical. That's almost as good as a threesome."

*

"So, we've been arguing," says Jasper. The three documentarians asked him to have drinks with them, off the record; sitting across from them in a booth at Dropship feels weirdly like getting called to the principal's office. But with booze. "About the role of filmmakers in documentaries."

"We should be the hornets that sting!" Monty interjects, and Bellamy actually jumps. He's never heard Monty raise his voice before. "Werner Herzog," he adds, sheepish.

"Uh," says Bellamy. "Okay?"

"We have to turn in the first draft of the movie in two months," says Jasper. "And it's shaping up--"

"It is really fucking obvious you're in love with Clarke," says Raven, not looking up from her phone. She's playing Tetris with terrifying speed and precision. It's easier to think about that than focus on what she actually said.

"Raven!" says Jasper, scandalized.

"What? You were taking too long. Jaha made us promise to do a special screening of the first draft for the office, so you should think about maybe telling Clarke you're into her before she finds out from our stupid documentary. Because if she doesn't find out from you, she will definitely find out from us."

"Couldn't you just--not?" Bellamy asks. "She's fucking _engaged_."

Monty and Jasper exchange another look. "It's kind of the closest thing we have to a plot," Monty admits.

"It's great!" says Jasper. "Seriously. You guys are, like--it's awesome. We're all rooting for you. It's, like, classic love story shit. So if you wanted to, you know. Tell her at work, and maybe let us know in advance so we can--"

"Oh my god shut up," says Bellamy, rubbing his face. "I've got two months, right? I can just move."

Raven kicks him in the leg, fucking _hard_. "Move? You're going to fucking _move_?" She finally turns off her phone to glare at him. "Tell the girl you like her _before_ you run away, dumbass. That way, if she likes you too, you save some money and get a fucking girlfriend."

Bellamy swallows. "They set a date," he points out, because--god, they did, and it's the fucking _worst_. Clarke's been talking about her wedding with some of the other women in the office, and it's a _real thing_ that's suddenly happening. They're getting married, exactly eight years after they got engaged, which Clarke says she's trying to think of as romantic. Bellamy's trying not to throw himself out the window.

"So tell her before that date," says Raven.

"But really, you know, sooner. So we have an ending for our documentary," says Monty. He winces, so Bellamy assumes Raven kicked him too. Raven is nothing if not egalitarian in her violence. "And, obviously, for love. And stuff."

"Please tell me you're not having this conversation with Clarke too," he says.

"No way, we don't want to steal your thunder," says Jasper.

"But, you know, if she _wasn't_ engaged, we totally would be," says Monty. Jasper glares at him, and he hisses, "Hornets, Jasper!"

Bellamy rubs his face. "Great. I'm so glad if she _wasn't_ engaged, you'd tell her I'm into her, but since she is, I get to do it myself. Unless your movie does it first."

"No," says Monty. "I mean, if she wasn't engaged, we'd be telling her she was obviously in love with _you_."

Bellamy's mouth goes dry. Raven shoves a beer at him, and he gulps it down and manages, "I fucking hate you guys."

"Two months," says Raven, bright. "And we need an ending. Ideally in the next month, so we have time to edit it. So, you know. Do it for _art_."

"Fuck you," he tells her, and steals Monty's beer too.

*

The biggest change as a result of his pep talk/director intervention/whatever the fuck that happened is that he's really fucking self-conscious in front of the cameras again, glancing at them all the time, analyzing everything he does and, even worse, everything _Clarke_ does.

He'd already been thinking about telling her, even without the filmmakers' interference. Because it did seem stupid, to let her get married without telling her that she had another option. Not that marrying him is an option (not immediately, although, god, he probably _would_ ), but just, well, _him_. Like Raven said, it's stupid to move away from the woman you love before you're sure she doesn't love you back.

But that doesn't mean he has a plan. He doesn't really want to tell her in front of the documentarians, even if he does appreciate the warning about the film. His gratitude only goes so far. But he doesn't see her much outside of work, and even if he did, what do you say to the woman whose engagement you're hoping to break up?

What he really keeps thinking about is Monty, saying they'd be telling Clarke how she looked at Bellamy too. Because he even _believes_ it. There have been enough moments to give him some stupid hope over the years. Not that he thinks she knows it; she's not the type to marry someone if she knows she wants someone else. But maybe, if he said something, she'd think about it. 

A balled piece of paper hits him in the head. He leans down to get it and smooths it out; Clarke has written _No part of your job requires this much thought_ and drawn a picture of him, frowning in consternation, on the side.

He throws her a smile; she mouths, "You okay?"

He's been acting weird for a week. Of course she noticed.

He gets up and goes over to lean on her desk, swiping a Starburst from her candy jar. "I'm fine."

"Okay, now try it again, but convincing."

"I've just been dealing with some stuff," he admits. Both Monty and Jasper have their cameras on him. God, they were probably secretly filming at Dropship the other night, too. His life is fucked up.

"You want to get drinks tonight and talk about it?" she asks, all friendly, genuine concern.

"Sure," he says. He's not sure he's going to tell her the truth, but--they can at least hang out and talk, no cameras, which hasn't happened since his party. And that would be nice. Maybe he can get an idea of how she's feeling about the wedding. 

Maybe he can just punch himself in the face and save some time.

Monty bounces up to them at five. "Can I walk over with you? I want to hit on Miller."

Clarke laughs. "Is there a step two of your Miller-seducing plan?"

"Miller asks me out."

"Have you thought about being more proactive?"

"I'm working on it," says Monty, cheerful. "But I'm a romantic. I want to be wooed. So, can I come?" he asks, looking at Bellamy, all innocent curiosity, and Bellamy does not trust him at all. 

"You better not bring a camera," he grumbles.

"Scout's honor."

"Were you a scout?"

"Sure," says Monty, with a shrug that is not even slightly reassuring. But he goes to the bar to flirt with Miller as soon as they arrive, and Bellamy and Clarke get a booth on the other side of the bar, so honestly, even if he _has_ a camera, it's not like he'll be able to get anything good.

Clarke doesn't say anything, just sips her drink, something bright and fruity, with a cocktail umbrella. Miller has never said as much, but Bellamy knows he totally adores Clarke.

"There's a management position open in the Mt. Weather branch," he finally says. "Indra told me I should think about applying."

It's not even a lie. He has been thinking about it, on and off. It's been bothering him a little. But not as much as she has been. 

She looks surprised. "That's awesome," she says, careful and not quite genuine. But her smile is bright and real enough. "Good for you."

"Maybe." He sighs. "I dunno. It's--it should be great, right? Better pay, more responsibility--"

"You'd have to move," she points out.

"I used to hate being stuck here. But--god. I took this job because I needed to support Octavia, it was never supposed to be my life. Moving somewhere else to take a better position feels like it is, you know?"

She cocks her head at him, hair spilling over her shoulder. Sometimes, he thinks he's used to how beautiful she is, and then she does something as simple as that and it's overwhelming all over again. "So, what was your life supposed to be? If your mom hadn't died."

"Honestly? I wanted to be a teacher."

She grins. "Really? Teaching what?"

"History, probably. High school. I like history. And I'm pretty good with kids."

"That would be great for you," she says, smiling. "And you could still do it later, even if you got the new job."

"I'm not sure. I think I might have been optimistic about how quickly I can clear out O's college debts. And my college debts." He sighs. "At least I own the house here. If I left, I'd have to sell it, get a new place--"

"So don't leave."

He laughs. "Yeah, this is what I've been worrying about for the last week."

"Did you at least apply?"

"Not yet."

"Okay, well, first step, apply. You might not get it anyway, and if you don't, it's moot. Wait to worry until you've got an offer."

"Yeah, you're right. I know you're right. Just--even applying for it feels like giving up, you know? Accepting that this is who I am now."

"Nah," she says, reaching over to give his hand a quick squeeze. "It's just your job. You're a lot more than your job, Bellamy."

The moment stretches, and he thinks about saying it. Thinks about telling her now, while he's pretty sure Monty isn't paying attention. There's almost two months before they're planning to show the first cut of the movie. He could do it now.

Instead he says, "What about you?"

"What about me?"

"Come on, Griffin, there's no way your entire ambition is being a receptionist at a paper company. You're fucking amazing."

She laughs. "Graphic design, honestly."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. I've been trying to do some freelance stuff. Used those html skills I got making Jaha's fake twitter. It's slow going, but--I'm hoping."

"No wonder it looked so good."

"Yeah, I'm an artist," she says, but it's self-deprecating, and he frowns. She shrugs a little. "There's actually some course corporate offers, Indra mentioned it when she was here last time. I was thinking about doing it, but--Finn thought, with the wedding, it was kind of too much."

"Fuck that," he says. "Do it."

She grins. "I'll apply for mine if you apply for yours," she tells him, and they shake on it.

She leaves before he does, and he goes over to sit with Monty and Miller.

"Be honest, was he filming me?" he asks Miller.

"I think he took some cell phone pictures."

"That's actually creepier," Bellamy says. "Much more of a stalker vibe. And I don't think my waiver included cell phone pictures."

"Oh, no, it totally did," says Monty. "We threw all kinds of weird shit into those. Just to be safe. That's what you get for not reading what you sign." He cocks his head at Bellamy. "So, did you tell her?"

"Nope."

"Are you going to?"

"Fuck off."

Miller slides him a beer. "I don't really know what's happening, but I assume you need this."

"See, this is how to be a good friend," he tells Monty.

"I'm not a friend. I'm an artist."

"The hornet who stings," Bellamy supplies, and Monty clinks their bottles together.

*

The premiere is a much bigger deal in Jaha's head than it is in anyone else's, except possibly Bellamy's, and Bellamy thinks that probably doesn't count, because it's a big deal for him for completely different reasons. He's worried he's going to lose his best friend; Jaha thinks this is his big break. He tells everyone to go home at four to change into their red-carpet outfits, and has actually put red carpet leading to the conference room where they'll be having the screening. He did not rent a limo, but he has put up some pretty impressive decorations. It not really fancy, but it's definitely _something_.

Meanwhile, Bellamy's just been antsy all day, trying to get his nerves up. It's definitely going to be better to tell her first. Definitely. If she finds out watching the movie, it will be ten billion kinds of awkward. If he tells her, it will only be nine billion kinds.

Or he could go home to get changed and never come back. Like, ever. He could start a new life far away. There's an island paradise somewhere, just waiting for him. He could go to the Philippines, try to track down his dad's side of the family. He could just run.

Instead, he snags Clarke on her way out at four, looks for cameras automatically even though they've been gone for a few days.

"Can I talk to you?"

"Yeah," she says, following him as he leads her up to the roof. She looks weirdly nervous too, for no reason he can figure out. But she gives him a too-bright smile when they get outside and says, "So you got the job, right?"

"What?" he asks, total confusion washing away his nerves for a minute.

"The job at Mt. Weather," she says. "I knew you would. I'm so proud of you, Bellamy. I--"

"I'm in love with you," he says, and it feels like the world stops, but it's really just that Clarke isn't moving, and he isn't either. They're both frozen for a long minute.

"What," she says, not quite even a question.

"The, uh--apparently it's really obvious in the documentary," he says. "They warned me, so--I figured you'd rather hear it from me than find out in front of everyone. I should have told you earlier, but--you're fucking engaged. I just--I can't help it."

She wets her lips. "Okay," she says, which is massively unhelpful. "I'm--you're my best friend," she adds, finally.

"I know." He bites his lip. "But--" There's nothing really to say; he is her best friend.

But she's marrying Finn.

"I'm just gonna skip the documentary," he says, jerking his head. "Apparently it's going to be awkward, so. I thought maybe you might want to too."

"No!" she says, surprising him with her vehemence. "If we skip, it'll be more awkward. Just come, and sit with me, and act like it's not a big deal. Like it's just--normal."

"You cannot possibly think that'll work." He looks at her. "Is Finn coming?"

"No."

He sighs. "You just want to see me in a tux," he says, trying for something like their old teasing.

"I kind of do," she agrees. "Bet you clean up nice, Blake."

His heart is still broken, and he thinks he probably still can't stay. But--it's something, anyway.

*

The documentary isn't a love story; at least, not between Bellamy and Clarke. It's mostly concerned with the bizarre interplay between Jaha, Kane, and Murphy the temp, focusing on Jaha's kind of intense interest in Murphy and Kane's very intense jealousy of the same. There are a lot of talking heads with Murphy that boil down to, "But seriously, what the _fuck_ ," and it's honestly pretty funny. They did a great job with the editing. Bellamy had been sort of peripherally aware of the whole thing, but he'd had his own stuff going on, and it's cool to see it playing out from the beginning, Kane glaring during Murphy's bar-mitzvah-themed welcome party and all.

He and Clarke are the B story, and it _is_ really fucking obvious, the way he looks at her, the way he gravitates toward her, the way he smiles back at her when she turns to him. But there's also something in the way she turns to him after she makes a joke, like she's looking for his reaction, the way she pets his hair when she walks by and he has his head down on his desk. It's not as strong, but--there is _something_.

The biggest surprise is the company booze cruise, which Bellamy had mostly repressed, because all his other memories of that event were eclipsed by Finn finally deciding to set a date at the end of it. There's a decent amount of Jaha/Kane/Murphy weirdness, but there's a lot of him and Clarke too. He'd brought a date, mostly out of desperation, and there had been a lot of awkward conversation and him and Clarke wincing at each other, and the entire night felt like Exhibit A in his reasons Clarke and Finn shouldn't get married.

He watches himself fumbling to tell Jaha who he'd save if the ship went down and remembers with sudden, awful clarity where this is going.

"I'd save the receptionist," he tells the camera--Jasper, he thinks. "Just for the record."

There's a little laughter from the group, nervous and unsure. Bellamy smiles with them, easy, and then he feels Clarke's hand over his, a brief, warm squeeze, all comfort and friendship and--love, absolutely. Some kind of love.

He squeezes back, and she leaves her hand in his. He wonders if she would have done it if he hadn't told her how he felt. 

He doesn't think she means to tense up whenever her documentary self talks about the wedding, but he feels it anyway. On the screen, he can see the strain around her eyes and her smile that he never had in person. Even if she doesn't want him, he really hopes she doesn't marry Finn.

He traces his thumb against hers, reassuring, and she doesn't move away.

Their B-story doesn't have much resolution; Monty got some actual camera footage of the two of them at Dropship, laughing together, her squeezing his hand, but there's no sound, and that's the closest they come to an ending. The A-plot doesn't do much better, but it's still--nice. They managed to capture all the things he doesn't hate about his job, and it makes him feel thankful for all these weird people he talks to every day.

And Clarke, of course. Always Clarke.

"So, yeah, that's what we have for the official end of our project," says Jasper. "We're hoping to check back in on you guys in a few months, maybe do a kind of epilogue. If that's cool."

Raven's at the front of the room with Jasper, but there's no sign of Monty. Bellamy's not even a little surprised when he turns around and finds him filming. Monty definitely knows they're holding hands. He probably got a close-up.

Jaha bounds up to the front. "That was a masterpiece! Of course you are welcome back any time."

Jasper looks a little overwhelmed, like he was maybe expecting to get egged or booed out of the building. "Yeah," he says, ducking his head. "Any time you'll have us."

*

"You are really fucking lucky her fiancé didn't show up," Murphy says. They accidentally fell into step walking home together, and Bellamy is not pleased about it. "He would have kicked your ass."

"I think I could put up a decent fight. I can throw a pretty good punch." He makes a show of patting down his pockets. "Shit, forgot my keys. See you on Monday?"

Murphy looks unconvinced, but he just rolls his eyes and says, "Whatever."

He's not actually planning to go inside, but Clarke's car is still in the parking lot, the only one left at almost seven on a Friday night, and he's a little worried and a lot curious.

He hears her before he sees her, on the stairs. "I don't know," she's saying. "He's my--"

She's sitting on the landing between the second and third stories, talking on her cell phone, but she stops as soon as she sees him. He tries to smile, but the moment feels too heavy, and he doesn't quite make it.

"I need to call you back, Dad," she says.

She stands and wipes her hands on her dress, awkward like she somehow wasn't before, and before she can say anything, he climbs up the three stairs to the landing and kisses her.

Her mouth parts in a soft _oh_ , but he doesn't try to deepen the kiss, just brings his hand up to cup her face. Her own hand comes up to his arm, and he waits to see if she's going to push him back, but her fingers tighten on his sleeve, gripping tight enough he can feel it on his arm through the fabric.

So he fucking _kisses her_ , and she kisses back. He can't just lose himself in it like he wants to, because she's still engaged, and she hasn't said anything about how she feels about him. But he can have this, the slide of her tongue against his, the feeling of her cheek under his hand. They aren't pressed together--their only points of contact are their lips, and their right hands, and he knows if he gets any closer it's going to be too much. He can have this, but this is all he can have.

He pulls back after a long moment, and her eyes are still closed. Her tongue darts out to wet her lips, and he nearly kisses her again, but then he'd never stop. And she still has a fiancé.

"Okay," he says, soft. "So, uh--yeah. I'm--"

"Bellamy." He doesn't want to hear it, whatever it is, her saying it's a mistake or that she didn't mean it or--anything, really. He can't handle it. But her hand is still gripping his sleeve, and he doesn't know how to leave. "Don't go to Mt. Weather yet," she says, meeting his eyes.

"I don't have a job offer," he says.

"Okay, but--don't go."

He swallows, takes her hand off him carefully. "Not yet." He gives her the best smile he can manage; he has no idea how it comes out. "I'll see you on Monday."

"Monday."

It's not until Wednesday that she waves to him when he comes in, oddly deliberate, stiff and kind of awkward. They've been friendly enough for the last few days, not like they used to be, not _comfortable_ , but at least not destroyed. But he knows what it's like to kiss her now, and it's hard to come back from that.

She doesn't put her hand down when he doesn't wave back at her, and that's when he notices: there's no ring on her finger. For the first time since he met her, Clarke Griffin isn't wearing an engagement ring, and she wants to show him.

He looks around for the cameras, but then he remembers they're gone, and no one is actually paying attention to them at all. Which is kind of awesome.

"You okay?" he asks, leaning against her desk.

"Yeah, I'm okay." She smiles. "It was a shitty conversation, but--it was a long time coming, I think." 

He's not sure how to react to that; she's blushing faintly, like she's embarrassed. "Raven said you guys were in an inertia relationship," he finally says. "Easier to stay in it than get out."

"Yeah. That's probably true. But--I should have gotten out a lot sooner anyway." She doesn't meet his eyes. "Any word on the new job?"

"I've got a second interview on Thursday."

"Good luck."

"Thanks."

She nods, more to herself than him. "You have like fifty voicemails already. Apparently there was some kind of paper emergency last night. I don't know."

"Awesome," he says. He raps on the desk, steals a handful of candy, and goes over to sit at his desk.

Clarke sits next to him in Jaha's horrific training that afternoon, and he leans in to make a joke without even thinking about it. She looks back up at him, smiling like the sun, and she's still not engaged.

He could get used to that.

*

Raven comes over on Friday to hang out with Wick; the three of them play video games and drink beer and talk a lot of shit. Raven notes that Finn announced on Facebook he and Clarke called it quits, and Bellamy says Clarke told him the same thing.

"And?"

"And nothing," he says. "She knows how I feel. She's been with Finn for fucking ever. I'm just--" He rubs his face. "It sucks less, but it still kind of sucks, okay? Shut up about it."

Raven looks at him, thoughtful. "Yeah, okay, fine. But let me know if you guys have a first date or whatever. There's money on the line."

"You guys are the least professional filmmakers I have ever met," he tells her, and she gives him the finger.

When the doorbell rings half an hour later, he assumes it's the pizza. Raven and Wick are in the middle of a game, so Bellamy grabs his wallet and gets the door, and Clarke's there, still wearing her work clothes. Bellamy stares for a minute, unable to say anything, and Clarke offers him a tentative smile.

"I--" she starts, and he says, "Hey--" at the same time, and they just sort of grin at each other like idiots for a minute.

"Blake!" Wick yells. "Pizza!"

"Oh," she says, flushing. "Sorry, you're--"

"Not busy," he tells her. "Not pizza!" he yells at Wick. "Shut the fuck up!" He looks back at Clarke, grinning. "Wick's got a hot date, but, um--did you need something?"

"I thought we should talk," she says.

"You should do more than talk!" Raven yells. 

"You shut the fuck up too!" Bellamy yells back. Clarke is laughing, though, and Bellamy can't keep the smile off his face either. "You want to come in? We can go upstairs or something. We don't have to hang out with these assholes."

"Yeah, go upstairs!" says Raven.

"You're actively creepy," Bellamy tells her.

"Upstairs would be great," says Clarke. "Hi Wick, hi Raven."

"Good to see you again," says Wick. "Come down for pizza later. Raven will behave."

"Don't make promises you can't keep," says Clarke, and follows Bellamy into his room. 

Once they're in there, though, he doesn't know what he's supposed to do. 

"You hear about that job?" is what she asks, of course.

"You know you're a lot more invested in the job than I am, right?" he asks. "I--" He laughs. "I should probably care, but I really fucking don't. I just told you about it because I was freaking out about you getting married and I didn't want to tell you _that_."

Clarke stares at him, and then starts laughing. "Seriously?"

"I mean, it's cool, but--I honestly think it I were manager of a paper company, I'd cry myself to sleep every night." He rubs the back of his neck. "I thought I might have to get out of of town, but--maybe not?"

"You didn't have to leave town just because I was getting married."

"I might have," he admits.

Clarke worries her lip. "So, um. You're in love with me."

"Yeah."

"And you're not going to Mt. Weather."

"I'd have to get a new house and a new roommate. And I want Octavia to have somewhere to come home to on breaks. So--no." He reaches out, tentative, and takes her hand, rubbing his thumb over he bare ring finger. "You're not getting married."

"I'm not getting married," she agrees. "My dad told me it's not usually a good idea to jump into a new relationship right after an old one ends."

He has to laugh. "You asked your dad?"

"He gives good advice!" She bites her lip, smiling. "I asked him how long I had to wait, and he told me it was more about how long I _need_ to wait, so--fuck it."

She tugs him in to kiss him again, and Bellamy laughs against her lips, sliding his arms around her waist, pulling her in as close as he can get her. She's warm and soft, perfect. "Fuck it, huh?"

"We'll go slow," she murmurs, leaning against him. "I just--fuck, I've been wanting to do that."

" _You've_ been wanting to do that?" he teases, and she gives him one more lingering kiss.

"Yeah, I know. Sorry it took me a while. But--I'm getting there." She smiles up at him, brilliant. "You want to go play video games with Wick and Raven?"

He tangles their fingers together and squeezes. "Yeah, I really do."

*

Three months later, the documentarians come back to do interviews for the epilogue. Monty does Bellamy's, of course.

"How have you been?"

"I saw you last week," Bellamy points out. "You're dating my best friend. We got drunk and you spent like half an hour telling me about the cinematography of some movie I'd never heard of about cheerleaders. You drew a diagram on a napkin."

"There is this _really cool shot_ ," Monty protests, and then composes himself. "I mean, uh. If you could just fill in the viewers at home."

"I'm fine," he says.

"And?"

"And what?"

Monty glares at him. "Last time we were here, you were talking to Indra about a position in Mt. Weather."

"Didn't take it."

"Clarke's not wearing a wedding ring."

"That sounds like a Clarke interview question."

"I know you're dating!" Monty says. "We all know! We've seen you guys together!"

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Raven practically lives with you guys!"

"Raven is one of the other filmmakers. She's dating my roommate," Bellamy tells the camera. "That's kind of their business. I'm just here to do my job. If you have any questions about paper or paper products--"

"You're the worst," says Monty. "If it weren't for this documentary--"

It's actually a sobering thought, because--he thinks he probably would have said something. Eventually. Before she got married. But--he doesn't actually _know_. He's not sure what would have happened.

She might be marrying Finn next month.

"Okay," he says, sighing. "Fine. I'm going to do this one time, and then you're going to shut up about it forever." He opens the conference room door. "Clarke?"

She's theoretically working, but it's not like Jaha cares. Jaha is very invested in the documentary getting a proper epilogue.

He jerks his head and she comes in to sit down with him.

"So, yeah, this is my girlfriend, Clarke," he says. It still feels awesome, getting to say that. "I think you guys have already met."

"Hi," says Clarke, with a wave.

"We've been going out for about three months?" he says, cocking his head at her.

"Give or take." She smiles up at him. "What happened to _I'm not telling them anything, they need to learn about boundaries_?"

"Monty guilt-tripped me." He puts his arm around her shoulders and kisses her temple. "I tried."

"Pushover. You have any questions for me while I'm here?" she asks Monty.

"Any exciting news aside from your boyfriend?"

"Oh yeah, I've got way better stuff than the boyfriend," Clarke says, shoving Bellamy gently. He laughs and rolls his eyes at Monty, all fake exasperation. "I started doing freelance graphic design online, it's going pretty well. I got into a program corporate is running in New York in a couple months, I haven't decided if I'm going yet. We're arguing about it," she adds, poking Bellamy.

"You don't want her to go?" Monty asks.

"No, I want her to go. She doesn't want to leave me," he adds, smugly.

"He can't cook! I'm amazed he's survived this long."

"Trader Joe's has a lot of prepared foods. I can microwave. I'm completely self-sufficient."

"You're going to get scurvy."

"So when you get back, you can say _I told you so_."

"I'm not going to like you if you don't have teeth anymore. Just so you're prepared."

Monty's camera makes a noise, and Bellamy remembers with a start that they're on camera again. He rubs the back of his neck, tries to be slightly less obvious about the whole _love_ thing. Even if it's kind of too late. "Okay, so--you happy now?" he asks. "All set?"

Monty grins at him. "Yeah. I think we've got everything we need."

**Author's Note:**

> Clarke POV [here](http://archiveofourown.org/works/4039033/chapters/10384176)!


End file.
